:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
