I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
