please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
