So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Small penises have feelings too.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
