Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
