I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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