Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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