Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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