been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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