He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
