I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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