he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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