So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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