I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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