STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
