covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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