I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
