True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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