I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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