my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
