she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
