dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
