Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
