Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize