so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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