so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
