Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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