Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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