it was like his penis was on wheels.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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