I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
