Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
