that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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