his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
