I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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