I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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