sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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