She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
