I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize