how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
