I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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