Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
