I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm having to shit out rocks
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
