How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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