exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
