there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
