Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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