Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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