dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
