You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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