I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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