yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
