i think my tv is drunk
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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