Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize