I am puke
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
