how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
