I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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