Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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