Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
