Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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