Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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