weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
