were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
