I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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