how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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