..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
