i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
