Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
