last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Come on in and take your pants off
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