You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
