My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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