i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
